…Rantings…

….. Well I know I haven’t been in here “forever” and I’m sorry for those of you who have wondered where I have been. I know my not having anything good to say nothing to blog about is really a lame excuse it is one I’m sticking with though. I’ve got so much on my mind I’m not really sure where to start or how to start. I’m confused I think. I know I’m unsure. While things with me are going alright I  can’t really complain. There is this small voice in my head confusing the hell out of me I don’t know why or understand. It keeps saying why be in a relationship that so many people are flipping out over all over the world because same sex marriage shouldn’t be possible. They just don’t understand us I guess.

 And for once in a “very” long time I’m not stuck in the shadows of darkness. She brings light into every inch of my world. My Autumn who I couldn’t do life without. Now if I only had the heart and nerve to tell my family and she to tell her family. We’re both just terrified of the out come of all of this because from what I’ve heard and read many families don’t ever bounce back from something like this quickly and not that I’m excepting them to understand or even to forgive me for not telling them or not making it a guy that I should  love cause lets face it u can’t control who u fall in love with.. right? 

I wouldn’t trade her for the whole world. She is my entire world. I’m happy. U would think that my family would only care that I’m happy. At least that is what I keep telling myself anyways. I know they will be angry, hurt, embarrassed, confused. Those r all the things I’ve gone through while been with her. So I  at least know  how they will feel. I just wish they could if I ever told them that they could just welcome me with open arms and accept me for who I ‘am it’s not like I’m a hooker Lol.

I’m still me just me with a gf instead of a bf. I’m sorry that’s who I choose to love. It has nothing to do with my past (which I’m still trying frigging hard to get over and past.)  ’cause I’m tired of living in the past and having the memories always there reminding me everyday even the smallest thing will trigger it and I’ll be stuck wallowing damn it! ! ! ! !  We’re only humans straight, bi or gay. We’re only doing what human’s do. Shouldn’t be put on this earth if just to be judged because we’re different. We work, pay taxes, have friends, go to the movies. We shouldn’t have to apologize we shouldn’t have to hide or be afraid to go outside or shop. People shouldn’t be so mean or cruel towards us. Please just accept me and anyone else out there whose the same sex. 🙂 I’ve got a few friends that are gay and I have to admit they are some of the best friends I could ever ask for they mean a great deal to me.

Anyways… I think I’ve wrote enough for tonight.

                                                                         Good Night!!