personal question

Has anyone ever cried while making love with ur partener? It’s  a good, happy tears of joy kinda cry.


Happy and Sad day..

Autum signed the lease for our apartment lastnight!! Yup 🙂 She’s moving in tomorrow after work. We’re pretty excited about it looking forward to having a place to make our own hehe!  I still can’t beleive we have  a place whoohoo!! *HAPPY DANCE AROUND THE ROOM A FEW TIMES*  On a sad note our cat smokey who fought with whatever he had had finally past away this morning!! 😦  He was a really great cat and he’ll be missed dearly! RIP Smokey!!! LOVE U SMOKEY!!!!

Morning Coffee, Thoughts, ,Game, Ranting.

Having a lot on my mind really makes this blog come in handy lately. I’am having my morning cofeee at the moment. I got a short letter from my friend Jamie today, she was at the docs taking tests run to take sure her and her baby are healthy. So I’ll have to write her back eventually when I find the time this week. Then my weight loss thing is still going but not as much as it used to be I wanna work out I just find other things to do so that I don’t have to do it or it really does get to late. Although I’ll get back into I’ve been kind of busy lately with baking, thinking things over, worrying about our one old cat Smokey he is really sick and skinny we think its something bad but we never took him in cause we knew what they would tell us. So we just let things go as they are being handed to us.

He’s eating, drinking and everything. Hanging on the little guy he. He is such a  NICE sweet cat he’ll be missed once he goes. We’re hoping he’ll get better those becuz we love having him around. *Sighs* I talked to my friend Hezzie today bout my whole moving situation.

I asked her:  I was wondering if my whole moving thing is a good idea? Do u think it is because I’m unsure if im doing the right thing maybe its bcuz i’m leaving home and maybe i care about what my parents are gonna think. or maybe its that i’m scared i wont make it out there. That I’ll fail even at that. I’m starting to get cold feet.

She replied:  I think if you weren’t nervous about it then it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. this is a huge change in your life and you should be nervous,.. You should get cold feet… It makes sense to.   So, now I feel a little better about that because honestly I really am nervous about all this. I’ve never done anything like this before in my whole life. I’m about to find out things I probably never thought possible. So many things to worry about once I get there *heavy sigh* I’m sure I’ll figure it all out soon enough. I just feel better now that I got that all talked out with my bestie 🙂 shes RULES!!!

I’ve still gotta lot of stuff to get packed and I would do that today I’m just trying not to make my room look like I’m moving out ya know. I’m being careful more or less. Yup Yup!!  I always kept wanting what all my friends have, marrige, kids, love with the right person the soulmate. And well now I believe I found that with Autumn becuz we connect in away I never thought I could connect with anyone. physically, emotionally, romanticality. It’s so deep and it feels just right to be with her. I could spend the rest of my life just listening to her laugh watching her sleep listening to her talk. She makes me feel good about myself even though I am kind of a  pain in the ass. She still loves me anyways no matter what. I’m playing games on facebook or I was I stopped so I could write this out 🙂 I’m talking to my friend Dom on fb though she’s talking about a band from somewhere in Europe, The bands name is Within Temptation. It’s rock but it’s in a subgenre of rock called symphonic metal. I told her they sounded kind of interesting and they do. *Waves excitedly* Hi Dom!!!! Thank U for reading my blog. Everyone have a good day I hope someone COMMENTS on this!



Aprtmnt update!

Hi!!!!!!!!! Well we had GREAT EXCITING NEWS TODAY!!!! We should now know for SURE by Tuesday  if and when we can finally move it hopefully! We’re really really really excited now hehe 🙂 We cannot wait we’ve been wanting this forever now. 🙂 🙂 I’ll keep everyone up to date on this as I get news.

Quote of the day!

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a  flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.  As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals,  deep-burning and unquenchable.
Bruce  Lee


Figured then that I might as well work on my pastic canvas since I was awake anyways. So I worked on it for awhile I kept messing up so I decied to just finally go to sleep. Then I  kept getting woking up by Gomer who wouldn’t leave my hair alone! He likes to clean my head but my hairs so long that he can’ t lick it very much and he won’t stop so I moved him to the other side of the pillow hoping he would lay down and he did finally!! Then I finally went to sleep.

Fingers Crossed…

So.. I just found out that the apartment Autumn and I are waiting for, we should know something by the end of this week hopefully. Please everyone keep ur finger’s crossed for us that we will “finally” have our apartment. We’re really really looking forward to this because we’ve been waiting forever to have a  place to call home.


*Wrote this for my friend Stephanie.*


Another bruise to hide,

Another painful blow,

Said she loved me she lied,                     

I can’t leave her love her so.                    

Glasses hide my swollen eye,                    

I cry when she’s not   here,                      

  If friends ask i say its i sty,

I shed a single drop of fear.            

She apologizes same as b4,                    

  Has a reason to hate,

And knocks me around,                          

Dont believe her anymore,                     

  In a mind numbing stage,   cannot speak a word,

Lay in a ball blood on her floor.                

Cant walk out the door,                           

My heart pounds in a frantic state,           

Will she beat me into the ground?            

With her wild red rage,                           

Dont know why her anger stirred,            

Or what she has in store.                        

Pretend everything’s okay,                        

Feeling ashamed, broken, regret,             

 Gave up on god i use to pray,                   

Till morning im her puppet.